


Lapidot Angst Week

by Scarlet_Was_Here



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Family, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asylum, CURSE ME, Comfort, Corruption, F/F, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, I have to write at least some bit of fluff for each, Mind Control, Murder, Self Harm, Sleep Paralysis, but I hope this is good anyways, i'm weak, if I must be honest this isn't really angst, sorry I can't bring you sad feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-11 13:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15316752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Was_Here/pseuds/Scarlet_Was_Here
Summary: Here's some short stories for each prompt for the Lapidot Angst Week (if that wasn't already obvious).Here are the prompts:Day 1: GuiltDay 2: CorruptionDay 3: HeartbreakDay 4: Free dayDay 5: BreakdownDay 6: HalluanationsDay 7: Rain





	1. The Puppeteer’s Toy

**Author's Note:**

> I tried. And it I may be honest, I had to rush most of these stories. So, sorry if they're crap.

 

“Peridot, please,” Lapis finds herself begging again. “Put the knife down.”

Glassy eyes, lost in another universe entirely met Lapis’ pleading blue ones. It was basically a lost cause at this point.

“ _Please_ ,” the angel tries once more with desperation coating ever syllable, fighting a hopeless battle she knows damn well as impossible. But, like a bad habit, she can’t stop herself. “Drop the knife.”

“Are you seriously still trying that?” the angel’s tormentor cackles with sickening glee. “Come on, Lazuli. Even you’re smarter than that.”

Lapis throws a glare over to the psychotic witch. Wishing she could just stay quiet.

“Shut up,” the angel hisses loudly. “You’re the reason she’s like this in the first place.”

She was met with another round of sick laughter. “It’s not my fault that Peridot is such an easy toy to mess with. Shouldn’t you angels know better than to acknowledge us demons? Let alone, actually date one of them?” She jabs her thumb over to the bluenette’s girlfriend that stood behind the lanky demon, the manic casting a dark shadow over Peridot’s bright features.

A growl rumbles deep in Lapis’ throat, a sound more animalistic that was usually impossible from a holy being of pure light. “That’s none of your concern. Just let her go!”

The puppeteer tuts. “It seems like you have a lack of manners. How shameful. What would your God think? Even more disrespectful since I’m Peridot’s mother, and you treat me like this?”

“You are no mother. Just shut your--”

“Oh, Peridot,” she coos, a twisted grin contorting her lips. “Would you be a dear and teach your girlfriend how to properly introduce herself to your mother?”

The smaller demon in response shoots up like a steel beam had replaced her spine, and she looked stiff as she stepped in front of the taller women. Lapis almost wanted to throw up from how the moon put Peridot on the spotlight and her forest green eyes glowed from how glazed over they were. Lapis could almost see herself in those gray moons that were frozen in a dull time and she just wanted to cry, scream and break something. This isn’t fair. Peridot moves like a wind up toy wound up too tight, her movements almost sounding creaky and malfunctioned on their own as she took odd uneven steps toward Lapis. The knife continuing to glimmer as a grim reminder of the situation at hand, and how little control Lapis has over it.

“Peridot,” _why does she even bother?_ “this isn’t you. Don’t you know who I am? It’s Lapis!”

Her words go in one ear and out the other. Peridot just makes her journey over to the angel, her face devoid of any and all emotion. It was only just those fucking reflective eyes that hid the real Peridot. Locked away in an unknown sentence as punishment. What the crime was? The angel couldn’t tell.

Lapis takes a few steps back, only to have Peridot match those steps by moving forward. It was like an odd dance of sorts, except no one knew who was taking the lead. Although, Peridot suddenly stops abruptly, heels dug into the dirt, and she just watches Lapis with searching silver moons. The angel cocks an eyebrow, watching Peridot in return. _What was happening now?_

The next thing that happens is a blur of blonde hair and green, and Lapis can’t stop it before a blade is borrowing itself into her thigh. She lets out a strangled scream, and scrambles backwards, pushing herself away from the demon. Her flesh itches with an icy pain, and yet it’s burning all at the same time. Her eyes hesitantly trail down to the wound, and bile immediately rises up in her throat, and that starts to feel like it’s burning too. Everything feels like it’s covered in fire. _Why does everything feel like it’s burning?_

Another blur and the angel is able to counter the stab at her shoulder luckily. Grabbing Peridot’s right arm, she twist harshly with regret and watches as the knife tumbles out from the pale clawed hand. That doesn't seem to halt the controlled girl’s onslaught though as she scurries to her feet quickly. It was all too fast for Lapis, and rocks dig into her back when Peridot manages to get her down, hands locked around her throat.

There’s a string of curses that let loose from someone’s mouth, but Lapis can’t tell because it’s so hard to tell what’s going on anymore. Everything moves in harsh and jagged motions, and Lapis finds her world spinning out of her control. There’s the smack of skin where fist meets skin, another sound that the bluenette can only infer as a choked sob, and then the clap of thunder overhead that shakes the trees. Lightning lights up the darkened world from Lapis’ perspective, and she tries to clear her head for the moment. She finds herself being able to breathe eveningly again, and realizes hands aren’t grasping her neck anymore and trying to shove her into the dirt.

She coils backwards, bending over, hands clawing at the ground like it’s her last lifeline. If she dares even think of letting go, she could lose herself again. Everything feels like it’s spinning. _What is going on anymore?_ Tears prick her eyes as they fall with no shame, and she trembles as cold raindrops come down to greet the earth and this small resort of Hell. She feels so tired all of a sudden; eyelids drooping with fatigue, limbs buzzing like a thousand flies had crawled under her skin to mate.

Whatever was left, and she hopes it’s a form of courage, she’s able to pick her weary head up and look around. And all she can feel is remorse when another strike of lightning streaks through the dark sky, lighting up her girlfriend. Along with the knife that laid idly by the bluenette’s hand, akin to that of a haunting ghost.

Peridot is strewn out onto the ground, clutching her stomach as bloods seeps out in large releases between her pale fingers, a huge hole staring at Lapis. Rasping breaths shake her ribcage to the very core where her heart beats with ounces of life. The glaze in her eyes is gone completely now, and she stares over at Lapis with a silent plead for help.

“Oh, God . . .” Lapis trails off, her brain trying to shut itself down. “Peridot!”

She jumps up on stiff legs, her wound punching a hole of pain in her thigh as the angel makes her way over to the fallen demon. _This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, thisisn’thappening_ . . . it goes on and on like broken record in her head, until it’s garbled and doesn't make any sense when Lapis kneels beside Peridot.

Lapis’ hands instinctively go over to the huge wound in the demon’s gut and she presses weight down onto it as though that will suddenly stop it from leaking. _She has no idea what she’s doing._ Blood seeps out, painting her hands in dark crimson, and the demon groans in pain, shuddering heavily in response. Lapis can faintly feel the thrum of life on her finger pads and she wishes she could just hold onto it, but everything only keeps moving faster and she feels so sick and tired. The bluenette let’s out strangled noises of whimpers like a kicked dog when nothing seems to be working for her. _Of course nothing would work_. Lapis doesn't know how long she kneels there, Peridot doesn't move anymore, there’s no more responses from the demon’s twisted mother, and Lapis is only accompanied by the confusion and the patter of rain that kisses her, completely ignorant to everything crashing down on her.

She wonders if she just lays here, then maybe that wouldn’t be so bad as she thinks.


	2. Ocean of Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I make another poor excuse at writing. I don't know, I'm somewhat happy with this. Even though I had to stay up the entire night just to get the draft done and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what you guys deserve? A corrupted Lapis! For the whole family. Yay!

“Lazuli! Get down from there!” Peridot shouts for the tenth time already in the past hour. “I mean it. Right now!”

A guttural groan arises from the barn’s loft, and of course, that’s Lapis’ statement. She’s not moving anytime soon.

“Lapis,” the smaller gem whines. “Please?”

A growl emits from the ocean gem, only serving to bother Peridot even further.

“Why don’t you listen to me? Just get down! Steven wants to see the both of us.”

Lapis pokes her head out in response, ears pointing up a bit. But, that’s as far as she moves from the barn’s loft. The smaller gem wants to say something else, maybe coax Lapis out with a promise for Peridot to read another story out loud later for her. Everything dies on her tongue though when the blue gem whimpers like a wounded animal, ears suddenly drooping down. The sound of claws scrape against the wood as she scurries away from view.

The green gem sighs a bit, voice dropping into a softer tone. “Lapis, come on. You know they don’t judge. You’re just worrying over nothing.”

Absolutely no verbal response other than the sound of shuffling before a thump in the far corner.

A huff leaves Peridot and she took a cautious step onto the ladder that led up the loft. “I’m coming up, Lapis. Please don’t sweep me off in fear,” she calls up, taking another step up.

A gruff grumble is the only sign of permission the green gem has to continue up. At least, she hopes it considered permission. Peridot remembers the last time she accidentally startled the poor blue gem by sneaking up behind her. To this day, she wonders what would have happened if Steven wasn’t there.

Peridot pulls herself up and onto the barn’s loft, eyes flitting over to the makeshift nest of ripped up meep morps, straws of fresh hay, and feathers of plentiful colors decorate the ocean gem’s lofty bed. The green gem almost grins when she remembers the day the two went out to hunt birds to just create the splash of tiny colors because they couldn’t get the hammock back. They just wanted to make it special for the new barn Bismuth had helped build. But her attention dawns onto more pressing matters. Specifically to the corrupted Lapis Lazuli curled up in that exact special nest. At the sight of Peridot, Lapis shrinks further into her cozy spot and she looks like she’s trying to hide away, whining that becomes almost shrill echos in the silent barn.

“Lapis? What’s wrong?” Peridot asks, eyebrows knitted together.

The gem in question just whines again like a kicked puppy in response.

Peridot just can’t find the words to fill in the void, and she finds herself biting the inside of her cheek with thought. She’s never been this lost for words. But she can’t help it--the puzzle pieces just aren’t fitting together properly. She needs the time to rearrange them and think without the time crunch of having to respond right away. She remembers Amethyst making a somewhat crude joke about how Lapis couldn’t fit through any openings because of her outstretched limbs, but even then, the ocean gem didn’t show any signs of being offended. Instead, she laughed. While, yes, it did sound like she was gargling on her own spit, along with actually sounding like she trying to perform the act of ventriloquism, it was still a laugh. Every Crystal Gem was a witness to her cracking a huge needle toothed smile and letting the most generous yet horrendous frequency known on planet earth.

And by Diamonds, she absolutely hates the fact she just can’t figure this mystery out. It felt like all the pieces were in front of her, but there was just that one missing. Everything hinting to where it was, but deciding to be an absolute tease by not just plainly telling her.

_Why can’t this just be easy?_   She nearly grumbles loudly, but keeps it locked in her head before it leaves her mouth.

The green gem decides that words won’t be her solution this time around. Instead, she proceeds with her actions more than anything. And she may just have the idea that could work. Floorboards creak loudly under Peridot as she slowly kneels next to the corrupted gem, a notebook and pencil clasped in one hand.

“Do you want to try and express what’s the issue with these?” She showcases the human supplies as though with pride.

Lapis’ head stays lowered for a moment longer before finally deciding to move her head just a bit, showing interest. Or at least, the ocean gem is trying to be polite by silently letting Peridot know she’s at least listening.

“Yes! I have this collection of lined ‘paper’ and you can use this stick of graphite to create things on it! It seems to be a way humans can communicate to each other if one cannot vocalize! Pretty neat right?”

Ears twitch with an unspoken emotion as Peridot ruffles through the notebook to a random page in the middle.

“Here,” she nudges the pencil into one of Lapis’ exposed hands, “take this.”

The corrupted gem twists her head to fully look at Peridot before her empty eyes shift to the pencil in her palm that was about as tiny as a pebble compared to her entire hand. Lapis toys with the pencil, bringing it up to take a tentative sniff like a trap was about to be sprung up.

“It’s not bad,” Peridot immediately blurted. “If that’s what you’re even thinking for one reason or another.”

Clawed hands hesitantly reached for the notebook, the mirrors that replaced Lapis’ eyes reflecting Peridot’s anxious crease in her forehead. Paper tears with an odd vengeance as the ocean gem clusmingly snakes webbed nibble digits around the tiny pencil, pressing it harshly against the defenseless paper.

“Uh, Lapis?”

A growl rumbles deep in the corrupted gem’s throat. Lapis’ way of signaling for Peridot to shut up.

The smaller gem between the two just goes tight lipped and watches with sympathy as Lapis struggles, tearing every piece and a little more as they cross her path.

“Lapis, come on,” Peridot tries again. “Let me help you.”

Fangs as large as Peridot’s fingers glint like knives when Lapis’ lips pull back into a snarl. The sound harshly buzzes against the green gem’s ears, but she finds Lapis trying to hide behind her giant palms; growls and grumbles muffled. So . . . Lapis wasn’t snarling at Peridot. At least that’s good.

“Here. I’ll assist you,” Peridot states, scooting next to the sulking gem. She manages to slip the pencil out of Lapis’ webbed hand, and starts speaking softly again. “Just point to where you want the stick of graphite to go so we can draw the words.”

There’s a long pause between the two just like before and Peridot worries Lapis was going to need more coaxing than that. The green gem then feels an intense chill engulf around her entire left hand as Lapis’ swallows her tiny one entirely with just her palm.

“Uh,” Peridot fumbles. “Alright, just drag the graphite where you want the words drawn.”

Peridot tries to ease the weight when Lapis’ presses down, bringing the point of the pencil to form letters and shapes. The ending result was the definition of a mess with huge blockly letters that became chicken scratch halfway through it and the entire message topped off with holes that look like little gunshots. Yet, it was somehow eligible. Although, the message that is deciphered can’t help but make Peridot frown.

**_This is getting harder everyday. And you’re not understanding that,_** it reads.

Peridot blinks a couple of times. “Lapis . . . what do you mean?”

The green gem feels her hand move again by force as Lapis scribbles more garbled letters onto a clean page.

**_You act like nothing's wrong. Like nothing has happened. BUT CANT YOU SEE?_ **

The gem tries to say something--anything. She knows this is the appropriate time to comfort her roommate; say something that fixes everything and push the issue back under the rug. But all Peridot can manage is to stumble over every incoherent reasons she wished sounded good out loud as it does in her head; going through every draft in her head with disappointment. Absolutely nothing comes out quite right, no matter how much effort goes into doing that one simple task. Peridot swallows and shudders when the trickle of something suddenly oozes down her shoulder and black inky substance splatters onto the paper.

Peridot blinks. “Lapis?” Eyes fall into the urge to look up, and she meets the ocean gem’s blank reflective stare that show her own in return. Untamed substance falls without consequence from the mirrors, and Lapis backs away as though in a sudden new form of agony. The corrupted gem almost looks desperate to keep herself together, monstrous hands locking around her arms in a futile attempt at a comforting self hug. Peridot just watches in morbid curiosity as in the blink of an eye, Lapis starts crumbling. It started with the familiar whimpers of a wounded animal, and then the process of wispy smoke escaping cracked parted lips like the boiling of a witch’s cauldron when she takes excruciating breaths. A definite warning sign, but Peridot doesn't seem to get the hint in time.

“Lapis?” _How many times has she muttered that name today?_   “What’s going on? Why are you--”

The screech that rips from Lapis’ throat is deafening, like the sudden violent clap of thunder on a stormy night. It’s a haunting wail of misery and pent up frustration as though everything finally came down to this one moment in time. And she only has now to release it before the world has had enough and crashes into her horrific form like a train wreck.

Peridot scrambles backwards in shock, trying to block out the noise by cupping her hands over her ears.She shudders as jolts crack down her spine and she grits her teeth from the shrill whine, eyelids sealed tight.

And then it just stops abruptly.

She gives it a couple of seconds maybe even minutes before allowing an eye to peak open and the other quickly followed suit when she found herself alone on the barn’s loft. Peridot takes a moment to gather her bearings before standing up on stiff legs. “Lapis?” She calls out to the oddly quiet air. “Where did you go? Lapis?”

There’s no response anywhere other than the warm Spring air whistling by.

All evidence points that Lapis ran off somewhere in that whole whole mess of confusion as there was a trail of straws and feathers that led to the entrance of their barn. Peridot mostly can’t believe that the sound distracted her long enough so her roommate could slip away like that. How long had the green gem been laying there as the sound similar to a freight train's whistle echoed? The Crystal Gems had to have heard that. There’s no way they couldn’t have.

Peridot kicks at an old spring that must have sprouted out from the rest of the nest, and she just sighs in frustration. “I’m sorry, Lapis,” she mumbles to herself. “But, how do I even help you now? I don’t understand. Did _I_ do something wrong? I just wish you could talk to me . . . "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone help them.


	3. The Butterfly's Squeeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm not even follow the prompts anymore. But oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like reading about asylums then this isn't the chapter for you.

“So, I believe that is the entire run down of the basics,” the manager in his crisp suit declares before turning to fully look at Lapis. “Now! Are you ready to meet the monster that you are assigned to?”

The teen finds herself wanting to hurl her lunch from how chirpy this manager pretends to be. Everything about him was just the definition of an old sleazy man trying too hard to show that he’s not a sleazeball even though it’s obvious. Wispy gray hair was slicked back (with an unhealthy amount of hair gel) only furthering to showcase his receding hairline. A huge gray beard engulfed the entire half of his face, and dear God, it was one of the most unkempt things Lapis has ever had the displeasure of witnessing. A part of her mind that works her morbid curiosity briefly wonders if it was possible to hide a human finger in there or anything else more disturbing. The manager, overall, was someone Lapis doesn't even want to touch with a ten foot pole, but she has lucked out for today as the manager slings an arm around the bluenette’s shoulders, and Lapis suppresses the urge to shudder.

“Of course!” Lapis responds, finding that perfect high pitched chirp that could sell anyone. No matter how gross this old man is though, the disappointment of her father weighs way more heavier on her shoulders. She just didn’t want to go home and explain she couldn’t get a job because she purposefully spewed chunks of a tuna sandwich on the manager’s black dress shoes (which was also starting to break Lapis’ thin line of patience because they somehow manage to be the cleanest part of this guy).

“That’s what I like to hear! Come along, Miss Lazuli,” he nudges the teen towards a long hallway, “your assignment is right at the end of here.”

The corridor feels longer than it should have been as Lapis nearly sticks her tongue out at how bland everything looked. Everything was just gray; gray cinder blocks, gray creepy older man, and just a plain gray fucking mood. Gray, gray, gray. No wonder Lapis sticks out like a sore thumb with her electric blue dyed hair. She wonders of that’s one of the reasons why some of the workers stared at her as she made her way into the building.

“Here’s the little bugger,” the man crones as he stops at one of the many steel doors that decorated the bland hallway on both sides. “Now, I should warn you that this one used to be a biter. I wouldn't warn you if it wasn’t for the fact that she’s known to be able to slip out of her harnesses and muzzle. Basically, just be careful.”

Lapis hates to admit that actually set a fresh case of worry in her mind, but she manages to force a small smile. “Don’t worry, chief. No monster will be able to scare me,” Lapis states with the utmost fake confidence. 

The sleazy old man lets out a raspy wheeze of a laugh as he roughly pats Lapis’ back, nearly slamming the poor girl’s head into the wall. “Ha! You certainly are something else. Anyways, you shouldn’t wait any longer.” The manager slips out a huge ring, keys clinking together annoyingly as he searched through them. Once he found the right one, he shoved the key into the slot and it turned with a pleasant  _ click!  _ before pushing it open. Lapis cringed as it scraped against the cement harshly, sending small shivers jumping up and down her spine as the door opens up to a dark room.

The man pokes his head in slightly and whistles like he was calling for his pet dog. “Come here, bud,” he weirdly coos. “You have a new friend!”

Something drags itself into the low light that emits from the hallway and Lapis meets her “assignment.” It was one of the smallest monsters Lapis has ever met. This monster could only reach her hip if it stood up on its hind legs and tried to stretch itself. The monster was mostly humanoid with the exception of its lower half that sported two pairs of cat-like legs, its arms were uncomfortable stretched out and its irises were like the slits of a clever cat. The pupils seem to pulse with a soft glow as Lapis stared into the different colored moons; forest silvery green on its left eye and dark swirling ocean blue on its right. Lapis wanted to catch more features, but the small monster scurried away and out of view, going back to one of the dark corners. Lapis just barely manages to catch the mess of a blonde mane, small and curled black horns on the monster’s forehead, and the shine of sickly pale skin. Another feature was just the plain fact that this monster was a female.

“Now, Peridot,” the manager goes on to say, a somewhat hard edge apparent in his voice now. Although it still had such a weird cheery undertone. “What did I tell you? You need to greet your new friends. Now come out here and—“

“I got this,” Lapis interrupts. “Just go and do more important matters, sir.”

The man seems to think about this as though two options needed to be weighed, scratching his unkempt beard with a fervent need. “Alright, fine,” he finally concedes. “Just step into this room and I’ll lock it behind you. You remember what to do if you need help?”

Lapis silently holds up the whistle around her neck that hung from a thin cord.

“Good girl!” He clasped his hands together and gave a approving nod of his head. “Go ahead and step on in then. Peridot,” his voice cuts a little lower, although the smile never left his lips, “behave now you here?”

The bluenette swallows a break of emotion in her voice before speaking again, “don’t worry, sir. I’m sure everything will be just fine.”  _ Yup. Everything was going to just be fucking peachy here in a monster asylum. _

He seems to either believe her or has stopped caring now, but at least now he goes to shut the door as Lapis steps in. It scrapes like expected, but it sounds even worse in here and Lapis has to cover her ears.  _ How does anyone tolerate this?  _ Lapis doesn’t know why, but she checks if the door is openable by pushing or pulling, but finds there’s not even any handle on this side. She’s not sure if that should be odd or normal when they construct these kind of places.

The teen’s attention is replaced by the sudden flickering of light behind her, and she turns on her heel quickly to find the monster lighting a candle in the corner. Peridot seems to notice her stare and acknowledges it with a dead expression. The orange light cast tiny shadows everywhere that dance with stories like a sock puppet theater, and Lapis kind of stands there taking this all in. The room honestly couldn’t have been any bigger than a closet. A mattress was tucked into the nearest corner to Lapis’ left and that seemed to be the only thing in here other than the two girls and the candles. Actually . . .

“Uh, just a random question,” she speaks, and somewhat winces from how loud it comes off in this naturally quiet space. “Where do you even get the candles? Does someone from here give you them?”

Peridot looks up at her with bored eyes and simply taps the black muzzle strapped around her mouth.

“Oh, uh . . .” Lapis can feel the heat radiate off her cheeks in embarrassment. “Sorry, I uh, briefly forget you can’t speak with that on.”

The monster shrugs in response and continues to huddle next to the little fire that licks the candle’s top. The bluenette stares at Peridot again, watching as the oranges and reds wash over the monster’s face. It gives her such warm expressions that disbelieve she should be here in the first place. She looks so innocent bathed in the fire’s glow as the blonde stares at it like a close friend. But that image along with the idea is all but thrown out the window when Lapis sees Peridot’s irises dilate until it covers the nice colors in her pupils and the whites of her eyes before making it look like empty sockets that punch holes into her head.

Lapis shivers and feels her heart constrict. It was somewhat morbidly cool, and yet chilling to the very thin of her bones. She shakes her head and takes a moment to breath.  _ You knew what you were getting yourself into. Don’t act like a coward. Just take a breath, close your eyes and think of your happy place. _ She listens to the therapist’s soothing voice in her head over and over again, and now can almost feel the kiss from the sun on her tanned skin as she relaxes in the sand. Although something shakes the image oddly. She has a bad feeling and can’t figure out why.

She blinks her eyes open and nearly downright screams when she finds Peridot just staring up at her, dark holes piercing into her very soul.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” She hisses and clutches her chest. She never really believed looks could kill nor could they be that intimidating that such an expression had to be created. But God damn it, she’s pretty sure she just had a heart attack. “Uh, hi? Do you need something?”

Peridot doesn’t even blink.

Lapis finds the whistle and holds it tightly. She has a feeling she’ll die here. She doesn’t know how yet, but it will probably happen by being strangled. “Uh,” the teen fumbles again. “Hello?”  _ God damn it, just wave or something! Respond. _

There are so many things wrong with witnessing this, but she can’t bring herself to ignore the fact that the candle just had to go out right at that moment. She can almost feel the pulse of an orchestrated madness of violens pick up behind her like a slasher film before the blonde chick gets stabbed brutally.  _ I take it all back God! All those times I was being dramatic and saying I wanted to die because I had to take a quiz and forgot to study? I take it all back. I don’t want to die!  _ She screams in her head, and that has become her excuse of a prayer for protection.

Her heart thuds against her ribcage, threatening to burst.  _ Don’t have an anxiety attack, don’t have an anxiety attack, don’t have an anxiety anxiety, don’thaveananxietyattack,  _ she repeats to herself, until the syllables are tangled and Lapis is distracted as she tries to remember how to breath properly. She doesn’t even comprehend the fact she’s not dead yet. Or that the blonde is staring up at her with the candle lit up again, having it close by her side.

The monster snapped her fingers and that was enough for Lapis to take a breath and look up.

Her eyes were back to the same colorful blue and green pupils from before, and this time she didn’t look as bored. Instead, there was some emotion there that was shown through her cocked eyebrow. It’s like she was confused of something.

“What?” Lapis’ question comes out harsher than she intended. “What’s with that look?”

Peridot tilts her head and she pointed out Lapis’ tear that slips down her cheek.

“Yeah, I’m crying. What about it?”

The blonde lowers the candle slightly and her eyes narrows a bit, and Lapis hears the cogs turning in the monster’s head. Finally, she seems to come up with an idea of sorts. Peridot glances between her own free hand and Lapis before standing up on her tiptoes to wipe away the little drop of water. And then the hand just kind of rest there, cupping the bluenette’s cheek.

The teen jumps at the contact and wasn’t sure what to do now. So, she doesn’t do anything at all. Her eyes just stay glued onto the small monster as she was trying to . . .

_ Actually, what  _ is  _ Peridot trying to do? _

“Uh,” she tries for words but her mind falls blank.

Peridot stops, retracts her hand completely and goes away to her rightful corner.

_ What the actual fuck just happened? _

In the span of what could only be assumed was ten minutes; Lapis nearly went into cardiac arrest, accompanied with an anxiety attack and it was all because this little fucker wanted to seemingly jump scare her (and God, she was good at it). But then it takes a miraculous turn to being something unconventionally cute as Peridot tries to help Lapis with her blunder.

Lapis finds the most favorable response as she states, “wow, okay. That was really fucking weird of you.”

Confusion spikes up even higher when a soft chuckle admitted from Peridot. It was so quiet, Lapis almost didn’t catch it.

“What are you even laughing at?”

Peridot just purrs like a Cheshire Cat all too pleased with themselves in response. 

The bluenette sighs with frustration, and is at least thankful she has her mind straightened out a bit. “Alright then. I’m just going to go on a whim and say you didn’t mean to scare me like that. Am I right?”

The monster’s shoulders heave up into a shrug.

“That’s not a very comforting response.”

Another shrug.

“If I try to ask questions in a yes or no format, will you actually give me something better than just shrugging?”

Of course, Peridot has to shrug.

“Wow. It actually seems like you have a sense of humor,” Lapis remarks.

_ It still doesn’t change the fact that you genuinely looked so concern for me in that one moment though _ , Lapis thinks, dwindling on that break in character for this seemingly “dangerous” monster. It was just so odd and so different from what she’s been told.

Lapis cringes at the sudden sound of scraping and she sees Peridot being the culprit of the horrendous noise as she roughly drags her claws down the poor concrete wall.

“What are you doing now?” The teen can’t even bother to be scared anymore as she shuffles over to the monster’s masterpiece. “Is this necessary or something?”  _ Then again, this could be how she passes time. _

Peridot’s pointed ears twitch and she throws a glance over her shoulder at Lapis.  _ Was she smiling? _ The bluenette doesn’t know what she’s seeing, but there’s definitely a hint of something going on with the monster’s covered lips. 

The blonde with her weird habits crawls over to the corner again, and cups a set of art supplies in her nimble fingers. Crayons, paint brushes, and pencils create a colorful dump in the small wooden box before Peridot sets it down and beckons Lapos closer.

For one reason or another, the teen just follows Peridot’s silent request without even thinking. “Is there something you want?”

The blonde grasp Lapis’ wrist before shoving a blue crayon into her hand.

“Um . . .” Lapis falls into another blank. “What am I supposed to—“

Peridot taps the crayon and then taps the wall.

“You want me to draw on the wall?” Lapis asks, and she gives herself credit for not just immediately doing it as soon as she got the hint. This whole place could use some color to at least spruce it up a bit. Even if it’s just this one cell.

The monster nods her head immediately and digs into the wooden box, bringing up a lime green crayon. For someone with overly stretched limbs and nightmarish fingers with the claws made out of children’s terrors, she writes eligible words on the concrete wall.

**I have found thee worthy,** it writes and it almost reads like a middle school joke.

“What?” 

**Like it reads. I found you worthy.**

“Of what exactly?”

**I don’t know. You just weren’t like the others.**

“What others?” 

**You know. Other caretakers. The ones who had me as a “assignment.”** Peridot particularly seems to push the crayon down with more force from malice when she writes out the last word.

“Wait. There were others before me?”

**Yup. And they all sucked.**

“Sorry to hear that and everything, but what happened to them? What makes me so different?

**You weren’t trying to push me to my limit to see what I would do.** Peridot pushes herself up and onto her hind legs to create more room for her blocky letters.  **Many out of the 20 caretakers I had did that. They wanted to see what would happen when a monster snaps. And so, I showed them.**

Lapis sits on that idea that for a moment.  _ 20 other caretakers just like me that were sent to do the exact same assignment. Just like me. _ She swallows, reading the sentence over. “So, what happened to the others that weren’t trying to get a reaction out of you?”

The blonde’s arm shifts over and she presses the crayon down.  **They died** . Just as simple as that.

“Well . . .  _ How _ did they die?”

**Heart attacks, accidents from some of all the construction around here. Stuff like that.**

“That’s it? To be fair, I was half expecting for you to reveal you murdered them,” she remarks. Only a part of her was kidding of course.

Peridot shrugs at that and the two sit there, the blonde silently writing things onto the wall as Lapis talks to her. Thinking about it now, Lapis has never had such a decent conversation before.

She doesn’t know how long she’s there until there’s knocking on the cell. “Miss Lazuli?”

The girl in question cocks her head up as Peridot’s expression twist into something like annoyed.

The bulky steel dork squeals on its hinges as the manager scrapes it open. “Ah! There you are? I almost didn’t expect to see you again.”

Lapis blinks a couple times at the bright light that filters into the cell. “I’m assuming my shift is over?” She asks.

“Yup. Come on,” he waves her over, “time to get home.”

Lapis was weirdly enough hesitant to go, and she discreetly pats Peridot’s head before stepping out of the monster’s cell.

“So, now that you’ve gotten a taste of what this job is going to be like, what do you think about staying?” He asks as the two make their way down the hallway.

“It was interesting here,” Lapis begins, tapping her finger against her thigh. “And by all means it was little scary. So, yeah. I think I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I had an idea for a monster asylum AU.  
> Someone kick me out of this fandom.


	4. Go On and Face the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A zombie apocalypse AU that I was actually kind of want to create another story for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really angsty, but have some odd fluff for your heart.

“Well, this is a nice change of scenery . . .”

“Seriously? What do you mean by nice change? We're  _ literally _ looking at a half destroyed hospital.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

I glanced at the driver, giving her an odd look, but kept my mouth tightly shut. The car filled with an uncomfortable silence then and I wish I hadn't said anything at all. I mentally kicked myself, knowing full well how I said things on impulse without thinking it through.  _ It was just a joke, Lapis _ .  _ Don’t get your panties in a twist about it. _

_ From all the fights in the past you’d imagine you would have learned your lesson. _

We rolled right by the crumbling building, flames licking at the foundation and walls. Dark black smoke poured high up into the sky, practically blocking out the warm sun, giving an almost perfect image of Hell on Earth. The picture only grimmly made better from the scattered bodies around it; some already decomposing; fresh and opened to the world, while others were wrapped in white sheets, blood creating large dark stains. My stomach churned violently, but I refused to say anything more.

“So . . . do you have a name?”

I jumped slightly hearing the women’s nasally voice beside me again. I was honestly too stuck in my own head that I didn't even hear the rumble of the Honda, but I responded nonetheless, “I´m Lapis- Lapis Lazuli. And you are?”

The driver chuckled, and I would've have been lying if I said I didn't find it a pleasant sound as it cut the morbid heavy atmosphere. “Peridot Diamond! At your service.” She raised one hand up in a mock salute, a cheesy grin spreading across her face and I honestly found it hard not to smile back at her. Especially when the freckles that peppered her cheeks somehow became more apparent like little stars.

“Isn't it kind of funny how we're both named after gems?” I inquired.

Peridot shrugged replying, “I'm not that surprised considering my entire group has people named after gems.”

“Wait, seriously?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Yup,” she raised her hand counting off her fingers, “we have Amethyst, Jasper, Pearl, Garnet; we have Garnet´s parents, Sapphire and Ruby . . .” Peridot went on naming more people all shockling named after gems. Even someone named Centipeetle. I assumed that was more of nickname than anything, but I couldn’t be sure.

I found myself chuckling again alongside Peridot and we even ended up starting a pleasant enough conversation. “That’s certainly crazy. I almost can’t believe it.”

“Oh, do believe it,” she beamed. “Although I guess some don’t count because they decided to change their names. I mean, with the zombie apocalypse underway who exactly can stop you?”

“No one?”

“No one.”

I almost felt weird talking about all of this so casually. We mentioned the zombie apocalypse like we were just mentioning a failed middle school quiz; slightly bummed out, but it wasn’t the end of the world. But  _ this was _ the end of the world. Legitimately. It was the end of life how we knew it. And yet here we were, making dark humored jokes and chirping whenever we saw a corpse limping by. Of course many reached out for the vehicle, but Peridot easily speeded out of their flailing limbs and we would laugh about it until we were hysterical and crying huge wells of tears when reality crashed back onto our tiny world that was this navy blue Honda.

For the time being as some minutes had now passed, and with a shot of giggles in my stomach, I listened intently to Peridot prattling on about some girl named Diana that was a huge bitch apparently. 

“Fucking, Diana, man,” she goes on again.

“Fucking, Diana,” I agreed, drunk off the newly lightened atmosphere.

“I mean, she keeps putting her own people in danger. Especially the kids! I have no idea how that little possy follows her everywhere and I have yet to see those brains get splattered onto the pavement because a corpse had finally caught up with her high and mighty bony ass.”

“Isn’t that a little excessive?” Although I actually don’t blame her at all for thinking anything like that.

“No,” is what she simply states, as though absolute fact. “Trust me,” she starts up again. “You would hate her. I mean, absolutely  _ despise  _ her guts.”

“Not as much as the zombies are going to. There is a thing called being too salty and she doesn't sound very tender in the meat area.”

Again, more laughing, crying and overall being concerned for our own mental health.

“Why are we laughing so much?” Peridot asks to the dimmed world as the car rumbles on, eyes glossy from too many emotions to even try and comprehend. I turn to her and we’re both staring at each other for a second longer then we should be, and I can almost see myself in her colorful blue and green moons; the setting sun casting dancing lights of life to play with the mysteries shadows in them. I’d imagine that they looked so sparkly and joyful all the time before any of this happened, and I’m tempted to lean over and hold her tightly until she needs to gasp for air. Maybe I would never let go. It’s easy to see the pain and despair, and it hurts from how obvious it is that Peridot has seen things that no one should have to.

“You know what’s funny?” The blonde asks suddenly, pushing her eyes back onto the abandoned road, only shooting one last glance at me. “I’ve never seen someone stare into my eyes as intently as you did.”

Cheeks immediately warmed up to her words, and I almost feel accused of something. “What? What are you talking about? I wasn’t--”

“Yes you were, Lazuli,” she uttered, her voice light and soft rather than the boastful tone from before. It was a heavy contrast and for some reason or another, that gets me to go silent. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s also those searching colors of deep sad blue and livid forest green that make my lips contort and stay locked.

Peridot shakes her head, and she’s still showcasing nice teeth as a low chuckle emits from her parted trembling lips, as though hesitant to let her words slip from her grasp. “Sorry. I just saw that and I couldn’t help but point it out. Honestly, I used to be teased for so long from having heterochromia. It’s not my fault you know?” She rolls her head slightly around her shoulders, a satisfying  _ pop _ sounding. “What was I supposed to do other than get tinted glasses?”

“That’s why they’re tinted?” I throw a glance at the pair in the small compartment, indeed finding a glint of green by the moon’s low light. “That was really the only thing you could do? Did you even tell someone about the teasing? A teacher or anyone?”  _ God, I sound so much like my parents right now. _ It wasn’t at all a pleasant thought, and my attention goes back to the blonde.

Peridot gave that small shake of her head again, and then her shoulders went up to shrug. “You’re actually the only person I’ve ever told.”

I’m here in the zombie apocalypse as it is eating up the world with its disease and yet the only thing I’m surprised about is the fact someone bothered telling me, a stranger, about their old bullying problems. Was it really too much to ask for if we could just pull the car over for a second so I could actually hug her?

“Sorry that’s weird,” the blonde suddenly speaks again. “I’m telling a stranger about my old middle school bullies. It’s not like it matters anymore.” A bitter laugh slips from her throat and her knuckles visibly turn pale with how tight her grip on the steering wheel goes.

“No, no! I don’t mind at all,” I quickly say. “Really. It’s no problem.”

Peridot’s chest heaves up in a dry laugh, and the car takes a slow turn towards a building. It was hard to tell what it was in the dark, but I suit and it seems to be a gas station. “Thanks and, uh, I hate to tell you this. But we’re out of gas.”

I blink blankly. “Wait, really?”

“Yup.” Peridot reaches over and twist the key, the car cutting its rumbling immediately. And I already miss the comforting vibration. “I guess we’ll sleep here for tonight. Once it’s morning we’ll head out and search for gas. Does that sound like plan to you?”

_ No, not really.  _ “Yeah. Sounds great.” I scowl a little to myself. Of course my mind and lips contradict themselves.

A full moon cast a glow on Peridot as the blonde wiggles her way out of the driver’s seat before crawling into to the back seats. “You joining me or something?” Peridot asks, throwing a glance over her shoulder.

I shrug in response and scratch the back of my neck, feeling that familiar middle school awkwardness for poor puherescent gay me. “Uh, do you mean--are we laying together or something?”

“You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with such sleeping conditions,” Peridot responds softly as there’s some more shuffling and rustling of cloth being positioned. “If you choose to sleep in the front, at least take a blanket.”

“Uh, I think I’ll join you back there. I swear the moon is casting a spotlight on me and it makes me feel like zombie bait,” Lapis states as she starts to crawl back with Peridot.

“Sounds fair enough to me.” The blonde tosses a blanket towards me and she curls up like a Cheshire cat, yawning faintly.

I go to mimic the same action, wrapping the wooly quilt around my frame.A minute passes and I surprisingly find my muscles slowly releasing aching tension like a balloon being aired out. I think I could finally manage some sleep without the need to wake up restless and petrified. And it feels like the weights of anxiety are taken away for the time being as I get comfortable.  _ Thank whatever God that still exists out there.  _

The interior of the green and black Honda is something I greatly appreciate as well. The car seats were a smooth navy green leather and held captive the tiniest bit of warmth that kept a border between my face and the chilly air. Moonlight seeps in through small bundles of pleasant silver glows from the windows, and my breathing starts to regulate into a slow drawn out beat, my eyelids drooping with fatigue.

Although it’s not long until my eyelids flutter open at the noise of a constant shuffling that distracts away from the crickets’ chirps and the frogs’ moans. It takes a moment for me to process that it’s my companion that’s the one creating the sound. The noise cuts off for a second before Peridot’s silhouette is right over here, a blanket in her grasp as she seems to be resting it against the car’s window and I create a tiny squeak in surprise.

“Huh?” The blonde stares down at me and I see the faint glint of embarrassment in her different colored eyes. “Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she whispers. “I just need to cover up the windows really quickly.”

My hand goes up to rub my eyes and I squint at her in the dark. “Uh, why?”

“I just saw a group of walkers making their way over here and I’m just making sure they don’t catch a glimpse of us,” she mutters before backing away and situating herself. 

I shudder and I prop myself up on my elbows. “Walkers? Heading over here? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Peridot responds as I she peeks out one of the makeshift curtains. “I think they’re just passing by though.”

Whimpers slip out of my trembling lips, and my knuckles turn ghostly white as I tighten my grasp on the blanket. And I can’t help and try to shrink away from Peridot’s gaze. I must look like such an idiot; a grown woman hiding away like a young child she believed there were monsters under her bed.

“Lapis? Are you alright?”

The sudden bang at the rear of the Honda nearly makes me nearly downright scream and I jump towards Peridot for silent help. Which was a clear enough answer to the blonde’s question. 

The smaller girl wraps her thin arms around me and I only squeeze her harder instinctively. “Shh,” Peridot gently hushes me. “I think one of them just accidently bumped into the car. You’re okay.”

There’s the sound of shuffling right by the sides of the car, shadows limp across. And I completely struggle to stop shaking like leaf.

“You’re okay,” Peridot reiterates as the horrid ghouls make their painfully slow progress past the vehicle. “Everything is going to be okay.”

My fear feels like it’s spiraling out of my control and I just lean fully onto Peridot for some form of comfort.

There’s an outstretched pause that settles down along us and I wait a bit before releasing Peridot, embarrassment being my only companion now. “I’m sorry. That was weird of me. I won’t--”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. No harm was done,” the blonde soothes as she threads her fingers through Lapis frenetic hair. “I mean, if that makes you feel even a bit better than I’m okay with it.”

“Are you sure?” I ask as I lean into the shorter girl’s hand.

“Of course. Here,” she replaced her hand’s position by taking Lapis’ and squeezing firmly, “you can lay with me if you want. Will that help in any way?”

I mutely nod my head as the only thing that would leave my mouth would be an incompetent excuse for the English language. The two of us shift around in the darkened car, and I find myself using Peridot’s chest as a cushion as we share body heat together in the chilly night.

Her arms snake around my lower back and I ease into her. “Comfortable?” Peridot simply asks.

I just nod my head again in response, too timid to actually create words.

“Alright. Goodnight,” the blonde mutters.

“Yeah, alright,” I mumble. “Also, thanks.”

Peridot hums and her fingers trail where my hair starts. “It’s nothing. Just get some sleep.”

And I do as such. My eyes drift close to the ghostly touch of the blonde’s fingers soothing my hair, and I yawn. The smell of vanilla fills my nose suddenly from Peridot’s sweatshirt and I almost chuckle. I was so used to the rotten smell of corpses and blood from the epidemic, that the scent of something so simple was probably one of the greatest things at the moment. I grip fistfulls of Peridot’s sweatshirt and my breathing relaxes into light releases of air as I snuggle against her. Finally, I give permission for sleep to take me.

  
  
  


¨


	5. The Bitter Blade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for self harm or more like implied self harm. Either way, if you're triggered by such things, this isn't the chapter for you.

Her breath hitches in her throat, eyes darkened with sorrowful cracks of anxiety, and heavy trembles rack her body intensely. The underside of her arms were wrapped securely with bandages, the reason for the medical attention evident from the crimson splotches that grimly decorate the white fabric.

“Lapis . . .”  _ I don’t know what to say. _

A pitiful release of air fell into a whimper and she brings her head down in shame.

My hand moves on its own and I take Lapis’ wrist as gently as I can. I feel the thump of a pulse against my fingertips and it’s such a joyous, warm thing that I feel the tears curse my eyes as well.

“Lapis,” I try again, voice still weak and soft. “Why did you do it?”

Lapis’ head stays low, and tears escape her hollow eyes, dripping onto her lap.

I take my other hand up with the sole reason to at least try and get Lapis’ to look at me.

She tries to move away, but I grip her chin loosely and she seems to stay put. “Why, Lapis? Why did you do it?” I reiterated the question.

The fluorescent light above the bathroom doesn’t provide anything to help show the answers or a clue as Lapis starts sobbing again and I have to hold her close just like before. Apologies and begs for forgiveness leave quivering lips, and no matter what I tell her, Lapis just doesn’t stop. Or maybe she just  _ can’t _ stop.

I sigh into her shoulder.  _ I don’t know what to do _ .

Bandaged arms ensnared around my neck, I managed to pick Lapis up, keeping firm hands around her lower waist as I wobble away from the tub and out of the bathroom.

_ Maybe I can get her to sleep. God, she looks so tired, _ is immediately the thought on my mind as the stairs creak under me.

Eye bags that create dark circles around her seafoam eyes, hollowed into her head and become the image of horrid black churning waves at the ocean at midnight. The briefest light would only be there for a moment, like the moon trying to ease the storm with its silver glow. But even the moon has to go away at some point. 

I manage ourselves into Lapis’ darkened bedroom, and silently thank that the hallway light was left on as I situate the trembling girl in my arms onto her bed, tucked away in the corner.

I gently hush her again and leave sweet whispery promises in her ear, the two of us shuffling around on the blankets as I try to place myself appropriately through the given low light.

I don’t know how it was managed, but I find myself with Lapis on top of me. It must look silly from how such a toned girl was laying on top of a petite girl, searching for comfort from someone so tiny, but it doesn't matter. She grabs fistful of my hoodie, and buries her tear stained face into the green fabric.

My hands move on their own again, and I thread my fingers through her blue dyed hair and the response is almost immediately as I feel Lapis sigh into me. I idly shift my fingers through the messy locks, listening to the  _ pitter patter _ of rain as it tapped against the window. My eyes trail down to the bandaged arms again, the constant reminder of a pocket knife glimmering with fresh blood as it tumbled out an opened hand. I try to shake the image out of my head, but it’s absolutely haunting. Akin to that of a ghouly ghost.

“I’m sorry,” Lapis mutters into my hoodie. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

“It’s fine, Lapis,” I restate for the hundredth. Although I am far from feeling tired about repeating myself. “Really, it’s fine. Believe me.”

A silence settles over and wraps us into a bundle of pleasant warmth, rain taps, and the questionable idea of comfort. I just can’t find it in my system to fall asleep. Even as Lapis starts snoring loudly, breathing stretched out to slow releases of air. I’m so worried, and anxious about the girl wrapped up in arms. Everytime I close my eyes, the scene plays out behind my eyelids. A blade pressed against tanned skin, blood escaping the rightful place from behind the flesh as it colors the black and white tiles.

I feel lost. So incredibly lost. But I know I won’t be sleeping. I need to stay up to make sure nothing goes wrong again. So that scene doesn't keep bothering me and creates the causes of aching shudders that rattle me to my bare bones.

_ I’ll protect you Lapis. I promise I’ll be there for you when you need me. I won’t let the same mistake happen again. _

  
  
  


¨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm falling behind. I'm trying to stay up at night get these done, but I still can't get shit done. RIP  
> Sorry it's short as well. I had planned something else for this prompt, but I didn't have the time so I used my other idea.


	6. Fear Daze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot experiences sleep paralysis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been able to keep up a consistent upload. I've been experiencing really bad pains in my wrist along with just overall feeling exhausted because I haven't really slept.   
> But, I'm still determined to finish this as best as I can. Hope this is somewhat enjoyable.
> 
> Also, if you don't like reading about sleep paralysis or implied sleep paralysis, then this chapter is not for you.

Peridot starts her night just like any other. With her favorite alien printed mug filled to the brim with steaming coffee and an overworked bundle of muscles that was an excuse of a healthy body. She plants herself down at her desk that was tucked in the corner of her darkened room, the lamp by her side being her only source of light. The tired student pokes her glasses further up her nose with obvious annoyance and squints as her computer screen that sends bright glares into her burning eyes.

“Don’t you think you should be sleeping?” Her girlfriend’s voice comes from the doorway of her bedroom.

“I’m fine, Lapis,” Peridot states. Just like the many times before this one. “I’ll go to bed later.”

Of course, her girlfriend doesn't fall into the given lie. “Come on, Peridot. You’ve been staying up every other night now and you’re really starting to concern me.”

“I’m fine,” she reiterates as she takes a sip from her coffee. “Just go to bed or something.”

The blonde can hear her girlfriend let out a groan. “Please, Peri? You’ve been saying you’re fine, but the bags under your eyes is starting to prove otherwise. I swear they’re boring holes into your head.”

Peridot huffs, unconsciously looking away as she leans back into her leather velvet chair, still refusing to give Lapis a glace or anything. “You worry too much.”

“I don’t think I worry enough.” Peridot can hear the bluenette shuffle over to her quietly and her neck is suddenly ensnared by soft tanned arms and warm flowers begin to sprout in her stomach.

“Lapis,” Peridot warns. “Can you just--”

“Please?” Lapis breaths into Peridot’s ear, unnoticed when her girlfriend jumps. “Just go to bed.”

The smaller girl makes a noise of surprise in the back of her throat, and a shiver racks her spine with a pleasant tingle. And those sprouts turn into fully petaled roses, the color of Peridot’s cheeks. She resigns into her girlfriend’s warm arms with defeat, seeing no other way out and Lapis takes that as she has won. Which wasn’t far from being true. “ _ Fiiine _ ,” the blonde concedes, exasperated from such an easy victory. “But what am I supposed to do with my coffee now?”

Lapis reaches over and takes the mug out of Peridot’s numb hand. “Don’t mind if I do,” she mutters.

“Are you serious?” Is the first thing that leaves Peridot’s mouth, staring at her grasping hand before fully looking at Lapis. “Why do you get to have caffeine before bed? If I have to go to bed then you have to as well.”

Lapis cocks an eyebrow at the small sleep deprived college student. “I have a final to study for,” she states simply. “And it’s tomorrow. Unlike you, who has it by the end of this week. You have time. I don’t.”

“Well,” she huffs, arms crossed and lips curled down, “I’m going to be lonely in bed. It’s not worth it. You know how I get when I sleep alone.”

The bluenette catches onto the crease in her girlfriend’s forehead and she lowers the mug from her lips. “Is that why you don’t want to sleep?”

There’s the faint nod of the shorter girl’s head, view trailing downwards to the carpet. “I’ve already had to sleep alone through an entire five days because you got really sick and I had to sleep on the couch,” she clears her throat, trying to relieve herself from mumbling, “which wasn’t a fun experience by the way because  _ I swear _ I saw someone watching me through that goddamn sliding glass door. And to this day, I still wonder why we haven’t gotten curtains yet and--”

“Peridot.” The mug  _ clinks _ against the desk as Lapis places it down to instead replace her hand with the babbling girl’s freckled cheek. “Peridot, can you look at me?”

There’s obvious hesitation to follow through with Lapis’ request, but she pulls her head up soon enough to look into the darkened oceans that were her girlfriend’s eyes; an oddly comforting sight.

“I won’t be long, alright? I promise I won’t study the entire night,” Lapis assured with a surprising lack of her boistrouse tone from before. Rather it was replaced with a gentle ease of sorts. Her thumb ran small circles on Peridot’s cheek before Lapis leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on the freckled girl’s nose. Lapis then swiped the blonde’s glasses off and placed them to the side before cupping both of the smaller girl’s cheeks and placing little kitten kisses everywhere on the blonde’s flustered face. Especially taking care to kiss the crease out of her girlfriend’s forehead. “Just trust me.”

Peridot just watches as Lapis tilts her head, waiting for a response that was a bit late from the blonde’s part. “Fine, fine. Whatever,” she gruffs. 

“Thank you, Peri!” Lapis chirps as she squeezes Peridot into a tight hug. “I swear I won’t be long.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She just watches as Lapis scurries off with her alien mug and Peridot just grumbles to herself. More specifically questioning why a blue headed girl was able to sway her so easily. She shuts the laptop off and pushes herself out of the leather chair, the wood creaking as Peridot goes to simply get ready for bed.

 

With Peridot’s taste buds overfilled to the brim with mint and simple baggy pajamas adorning her tiny frame, the blonde shut off the lights and immediately ducked for the child-like wonder that was the safety of a bed. Peridot wraps herself into a tight burrito of comfort and bright colored wool, and tries to conjure her imagination to make herself shrink from the storm of darkness that closed in around her like bees swarming around honey. Ideas of monsters hiding under beds and closets crawled its way into Peridot’s anxious mind, and the blonde could almost feel ghostly fingers tickling her back; dragging nightmarish claws as long as Peridot’s fingers up and down.

Peridot curses herself for her weakness; curses herself for needing her girlfriend to be there because of some stupid childhood memories that stuck to her, akin to a second layer of skin. Without the warmth of a sturdy weight of a body pressed against her, cold eases itself in even with the thick blanket in perfect position.

Fear is overruled by every brain cell in the blonde’s head with fatigue and Peridot gives into the feeling of sleep taking her away to the bright morning sun tomorrow. 

At least hopefully.

  
  


The last thing that Peridot wanted was to be awake. But that didn’t stop her from seeing the same familiar outline of her darkened bedroom walls and the fact Lapis was, indeed, still not with her.

She feels like groaning and throwing a tantrum like a toddler, but sees that not helping anyone. Plus, she didn’t have any energy to begin such staggering movements. But when she goes to move her limbs, they don’t respond. Like, her arms and legs weren’t actually part of her anymore, but ratherbow have a mind of their own. And right now, they were still asleep. Jus like how Peridot had  _ wanted _ to be.

Peridot can feel that buzz of anxiety that hums with her thumping heart and it keeps up with its horrible tempo. Immediately, her eyes widen in alarm and she sets into processing what’s going on as best as she can. Everything feels numb, lost from her control, and it places her into a sense of severe panic that she can’t describe. It doesn't help while as she’s attempting to figure out her situation at hand that her vision latches onto movement in the shadows that send a fresh wave of fear that jolts her ghostly body.

She squeezes her eyelids shut, wishing to lock herself away from the world for that moment. A weight slowly, although suddenly, presses itself down onto her chest, and she furrowed her eyebrows; confusion knitting itself together without the explanation of why.

Even with logic on her side, and every instinct telling her to keep herself blinded--Peridot is stubborn and needs answers. 

_ Which wasn’t such a good idea, because sleep paralysis isn’t exactly known to be the greatest experience anyone would find with their eyes open. _

  
  


Truth be told, Lapis didn’t mean to fall asleep. Moreover, the bluenette didn’t even realize that she could have fallen asleep with a fresh cup of coffee in her gut. But, being a sleep deprived college student really does wonders.

Another thing that does wonders is when the pierce of a scream rips through the silent house that can send anyone up and onto their feet in seconds.

Lapis practically tumbles over her feet as she runs up the wooden stairs, now suddenly seeing the metaphor in full view of what it’s like to have two left feet.

“Peridot!” She calls in alarm and bustles over to their shared bedroom, nearly knocking the door off its hinges as she runs through. “Peridot! Are you okay?”

Lapis runs over to the hunched up figure in the bed that emitted sniffles and high whines similar to a kicked dog. A blanket covers her girlfriend and when Lapis faintly puts her hands over her small form, the blonde trembles like she had been electrocuted. 

Peridot seems to try and slink away from contact, seemingly terrified, and the bluenette whispers, almost urgently, “Peridot,  _ Peridot _ ! It’s just me, Lapis! Come out. You’re okay.”

There’s a drawn out pause that feels suffocating as Lapis waits for Peridot to say or  _ do  _ anything. Her heart convulsing as it pumps worry in and out of her veins, replacing her blood with something else entirely. The bluenette doesn't have to wait long when Peridot shuffles her head up, out of the cover to look at the worried sick women. “Lapis?”

“Yeah, yeah! It’s me.” Acid green meets blueberry blue pupils, and the blonde seems to take a moment to realize that she’s actually talking to her girlfriend. “Come here, Peri.”

Peridot practically throws herself into the taller girl’s arm, and the response is immediate. Sobs are muffled into Lapis’ cheap band shirt as sobs rack the blonde to her entire core. 

“Shh,” Lapis gently hushes as her hand instinctively goes to rub circles onto Peridot’s back. “Shh, you’re okay. I’m here and everything is okay.”

Another moment of silence is bestowed upon the two, and Lapis can’t seem to describe it: whether it was good or bad. Or maybe just plain necessary.

“Did you have a nightmare or something?”

Peridot shakes her head, incidentally wetting Lapis’ shirt with more tears.

“Then what was it?”

Peridot takes a shuddering breath. “It don’t know. It-It felt like I was awake, and yet I couldn’t move. And-And,” she blubbers and chokes until her girlfriend eases a thumb onto her quivering lips. A simple and silent command that ensures Peridot to calm down first.

“Now try again,” she murmurs. “What happened?”

A deep breath reverberates between the two, before Peridot tries speaking again with much better success. “I don’t really know honestly. It was like a nightmare, but I was so sure I was awake. And-And it was, like,  _ so real _ ! And, it was like I was being held down all at once! I don’t even--I mean, what was--”

“Sleep paralysis,” Lapis says simply.

“Wha-What?”

“You just experienced sleep paralysis,” Lapis reiterates. 

Peridot seems to sits on that idea, and her face just delves further into Lapis’ shirt. “ _ That  _ was sleep paralysis?”

“Yeah, I know. Not a fun experience at all.”

“You’ve had that before?” Peridot moves her head back to look into the bluenette’s equally tired eyes.

“Yeah. When I was, like, 14 or something,” she shrugs, “I have a feeling you’re not going to be able to get back to sleep as well.”

Peridot clears her throat. “I mean, I think I would be able to now that you’re here.”

“Are you sure about that?” A calloused thumb gently wipes a stray tear that slips down Peridot’s clammy cheek. “I can stay up with you if you need it. Especially because I want to say sorry for not being there when you needed me.”

“It’s fine, Lappy,” Peridot muttered. “I think that would have happened anyway. But, who honestly knows? I’m just glad you’re here now.”

Lapis gives a small smile that spells out darling as she takes Peridot into her welcoming colored arms again, keeping Peridot firmly situated there. She lays the two of them down onto the softness of the bed that never had felt that good until then and the bluenette feels her girlfriend switch into a euphoric state instantly as her muscles untense.

Kisses are shared in the dark with muffled giggles, and the ghoulish shadows make way for the comfort of a blue girlfriend and cheap woolen blankets.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was decent. It was midnight when I wrote this and I had a headache, but, aye! I got this done. Now onto the next chapter and I should hopefully be able to work on other things once I finish.


	7. The Victim’s Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot comes to Lapis for comfort from her abusive mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implies physical abuse, so if you don’t like that kind of thing then this chapter is not for you.

There was only one way to deal with a thunderstorm that would send sudden strikes of bright lightning that lit up the dark house: and it was to hang upside down as she felt the flow of blood accommodate the stupid solution.

Lapis stared deeply into the empty void of the TV screen, wistfully wishing for colorful cartoons to appear like magic. The  _ pitter patter  _ of raindrops hits hard like a bunch of mini freight trains; offering the house’s walls to shake with fervor.

The blue teen isn’t fazed out all though. This was  _ her _ time after all. Laps felt powerful in this kind of weather. The storm surges energy into her body like a balloon being filled with air. It took its sweet time, but once it was full it was all fun and games. Although, until something comes along and pops it. Ruining all of the fun that was built up.

Lapis felt herself deflate slowly. Even more since her blood was pooling to the very top of her head with her brain floating around like a lost little boat.

The bluenette peels herself up from her vampiric lay away. Immediately, she feels the rush of blood run back to its rightful place. Of course, making sure to leave insults of how stupid the teen was before correcting itself.

“Come on brain cells,” Lapis mutters with a grudge evident. “Don’t fail on me now. I still need to text Peridot before I take my last gasping breath.”

Lapis slips the phone out of her alien printed pajama pants before opening past the lockscreen that showcased a selfie of Lapis and Peridot pulling off silly faces as they stared into the camera.

The teen grins at the small memory, clicking on contacts and opening up Peridot’s, that was oh so cleverly nicknamed, “That One Cute Dork.”

Lapis shoots a quick text:

**Lapis:** hey peri. Did you get home safe?

_ There’s a minute’s pause. _

**Lapis:** just text me when you get home

**Lapis:** okay?

She takes a moment, contemplating whether to say anything else.

_ Don’t come off as clingy you idiot,  _ Lapis mentally advised herself.  _ Jeez. _

Although, her fingers don’t move or even think to move. A sigh escaped from Lapis’ tight sealed lips, and it almost comes out like a whistle.

“Whatever,” Lapis grunts as she stares down at the offending green alien faces that stared up with oddly judgemental eyes. “Shit.”

A little fizz of an indescribable feeling swirls like soda bubbles in Lapis’ stomach as she stares down at her lap. Which was seemingly adding to her pink dusted cheeks. 

_ I almost completely forgot these are Peridot’s. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it _ , she glances down at the phone locked in her grip, the glare from the screen testing her,  _ she still hasn’t responded. How long has it been? _

Ten minutes have managed to scrapes its way by without Lapis noticing.

“Shit,” she reiterates to herself before sending another text:

**Lapis:** Are you okay?

**Lapis:** you got home right?

Lapis jolts when a thump unexpectedly sounded from the door. The bluenette briefly thinks it’s just a rock that had been carried by the wild wind and had been blown against the door with force. Although, the next thump is definitely more deliberate and assertive that’s added with a weak voice muffled by the storm.  _ Okay, someone was definitely outside then _ . It was like someone trying to speak over the booms of music in a bustling club.

She’s up on her feet in an instance, trying to decipher the garbled words from the harsh storm. The teen makes tiny steps over to the entrance, quiet as a church mouse as she peeks through the peephole. 

It takes a longer time than Lapis would have liked for her to actually process who was at the door and she then swings it open in instinct.

“Peridot? What are you doing here?”

Her friend’s teeth clatter too much to speak properly and she stared up at the taller girl, her entire body frigid and stiff with cold. Peridot trembles like a frightened rabbit as wet clothes stuck on her like a second layer of skin.

Lapis immediately grips onto Peridot’s wrist and drags the blonde into the darkened house without another word shared. She sits the drenched girl down onto the leather couch, wrapping her in a tight cocoon of wooly blankets. 

“Stay right there,”  _ Peridot doesn't need to be told twice _ , “I’ll go find some candles. Give me a moment.”

The bluenette scurries off into the kitchen, judging herself harshly for not lighting up any candles sooner. She makes her way back once she finds her prizes, where Peridot’s balled up figure layed.

Lapis flicks the lighter a couple of times, until a lick of a flame appears with confidence. She pressed the light to the tiny sticks, repeating the process before a good half of the room glowed with a tangerine orange. In turn, illuminated the generous comfy couch and Peridot’s blonde hair that stuck up in odd directions as she simply hides away under the blankets.

“Peridot? What happened?” She eases her hand onto the girl in question, and can feel her shivers pulse on her fingertips. “Can you look at me? Please?”

There’s the faintest shake of her head, concluding Peridot wasn’t going to look up.

“Why not?”

Silence is her response.

Lapis inwardly sighs and situates herself next to her friend that hid away like scared prey. “Well, do you at least want to be moved upstairs? My bed is much more comfortable than the couch.”

Peridot mutters something, but the bundle of wool blocks the words before it can be coherent.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Lapis asks as she leans closer. “I can’t hear you.”

Instead of repeating her previous statement, the blonde just wordlessly moves her head up, into the view of the fire’s warm glow and Lapis has to suppress a gasp.

The entirety of her left eye was purple, camouflaged with shades of violents and high pinks till it rounded all the way around to her ear. It made such a contrast to her pale skin, that Lapis couldn’t believe she missed it when her appearance was first known. It looked like it was throbbing with pain, aching for the swelling to be over.

Lapis finds the most difficult time trying to find words. “Wha-What happened, Peridot?” She finally musters. “Who did this to you?”

The girl in question just stares blankly down at her lap, lips locked into a tight lipped M. Thoughts are building behind though, proven as her lips shift like she’s trying to wipe the syllables away.

The puzzle pieces are right there, screaming for Lapis to solve it. It’s hard for her brain to conjure anything though with such a heart wrenching expression in front of her. All of her focus is on it and she can’t stop it.

The two stay like that for a while.  _ Wasn’t there supposed to be a cue long ago to have one of them move or say anything at all?  _ Lapis decides rightfully so, that it has to be her.

“Peridot?” She mutters softly, almost afraid that her words will shatter the blonde like delicate porcelain. “Was this your mother’s doing?”

One simple nod concludes Lapis’ suspicion.

The bluenette has to take a deep breath to blow out the anger that’s starting to burn her stomach from the inside out, and she eases the hostility away from her voice. Or at least tries to. “May I ask a couple of questions?”

Peridot nods her head.

“And if any of them make you uncomfortable you’ll tell me, right?”

Another nod follows suit.

“So, firstly,” her tone goes softer, and she’s not sure if that’s oddly welcoming or intimidating, “do you want a hug?”

Peridot doesn’t take a second to spare and crawls into the other girl’s comforting arms like a timid kitten, Lapis placing the smaller girl into her lap as she threads her fingers through the strawy locks of golden licorice. The trembles subsided just a smidge for the time being and the bluenette takes that as her sign to ask her next question.

“When did this happen? I know you showed up by,” Lapis glanced around the windows to try and find a sense of time, “well, I don’t really know. But it was pretty late. That looks like it has been like that for awhile.”  _ I don’t have any relating experience, but it’s obvious it’s had its fun time to irritate Peridot. _

Peridot shrugs, but it’s not the “I don’t know” shrug. More like, “I don’t know what to say, so I’m doing this to make up for the lack of a verbal response,” shrug.

“I sense you don’t actually want to talk about this,” Lapis concludes, and she cringes internally at how much she hears like a cheap therapist. Although, there was not going to be any follow up questions to try and contradict the patient’s response.

Peridot nods her head, and buries her face into Lapis’ shoulder. Tiny fist grip tightly onto the bluenette’s shirt and the quiet build up of sniffles start coming.

“Shh,” Lapis gently hushes as she starts running her fingers in a pleasant pattern of sorts, like crocheting with hair. “You’re okay. You’re safe here. I promise.”

“I’m so scared, Lapis,” a squeaky voice emits from Peridot, somewhat surprising Lapis. “I’m so goddamn scared.”

“I know, I know,” she mutters. “But I promise that we will find a way to fix this.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” her voice breaks in the middle, “I really don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” she states with the utmost confidence anyone could muster. “I will promise so many things, cause I know you will turn out just fine in the end.”

“But—But, what if—“

“Shh. Just relax. I’ll take care of you. Just go ahead and get some sleep. Your mother can’t get you now.”

  
  


She’s not sure if it was a miracle, or some sort of blood magic, but Peridot sounds of the tiniest snores as she curls into the cushions of the former couch that laid strewn out on the carpeted floors.

Lapis sighs with relief. It took a bit of coaxing and couch wars to get the blonde to sleep, but she couldn’t be anymore happier. It has been a solid 20 minutes and still no sign of any nightmares resurfacing for the tenth take at revenge for its stupid saga.

The bluenette tangles herself further into the girls’ disaster masked as a way of childlike fun. It was a wonder what some soothing lullabies could do as well. Her eyes stay on Peridot’s sleeping form, appreciating the lack of furrowed eyebrows and the lack of clammy cheeks from tears.

Lapis has a promise to keep, and she will be damned if she doesn’t protect her word and Peridot overall. That sounds like just the perfect way to conclude that idea if she’s ever heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the quality probably dropped drastically. I wrote this in one day as I was tired. Not a good combination as you can tell lol

**Author's Note:**

> I just suck at angst lol


End file.
